Tuesday, June 2, 2009


So tomorrow I find out if I am pregnant. I feel no excitement - or trepidation for that matter. Whatever will be ,will be.
Sd and I have to go into Kent St before 7am tomorrow morning, for the big blood test. You don't actually have to be there before 7am, but if you get there on or after that time, there are lots and lots of ladies all trying to get their bloods and their ultrasounds done before they go off to work and it can get a little bit hectic.

During each IVF cycle, there are quite a few of these mornings. I can honestly say that one of the hardest parts of the process for me is sitting in that waiting room with all of these normal looking women of all different age groups and backgrounds , and realising that I (we) actually do have a big problem on our hands and that there are NO guarantees. Being childless could very well be in any of our futures. It is fear like nothing I have experienced to date.

After all that has happened fertility-wise over the last two years, it's strange that sitting in that waiting room has been one of the most confronting parts of this experience for me. I think the sadness , anxiety and all the other awful things that come with your own infertility are one thing , but sitting in a room full of women who you know feel all the same things is so, so sad.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

For me and for all of the ladies in the waiting room.



Leila said...

Figures crossed. xxxx