Friday, April 30, 2010

My handy hint of the week.

Hi there,

I read somewhere that Shannon Lush (cleaning lady extraordinaire)recommends putting a tennis ball and a dry tea-towel in the dryer with your wet washing to cut your drying time in half.

I tried it today and it works wonderfully! Just like Shannon said!

That is all.

Have a great weekend!


Five Year Plan.

Actually, I don't have one.
I'm not a planner.
Well, I'm not a long term planner.
I am a highly organised short term planner - but for the big picture?
I've got nothing.

I've always been this way. I hate the idea of my life being all mapped out. The element of surprise is very important to me...especially as I'm getting to be quite the old lady now and I do have responsibilities that mean I won't be popping off for an impromptu overseas trip or spending all my money on big trashy nights out. Been there, done that.
So, what's next?
That's what I've been thinking about this week.
Sd and I are relatively laid-back people. He moreso than I , but we are both 'go with the flow' type people. And we've gone with the flow and here we are! Sd is about to start studying at Uni again ( for the next 5 years) and I hope that I am looking after and having babies for a while yet ; so I think we've come to realise that it's time to make some plans for the future. Even if it goes against how we've liked to live so far...

Our life is just fine but I'm starting to see the necessity and value of having a concrete plan and a definite direction and putting our energies into getting there.

Now, we've just got to make that happen.

Do you have a five year plan?
How did you come up with it?
Any words of wisdom for me?


Saturday, April 24, 2010

It's back.

As you may know if you have read this blog for a while, I have had major problems with anxiety in the past. In March 2008, I started going to see a (phenomenal & inspirational) acupuncturist because I wanted to do something to support my body and general health. I'd had two miscarriages and I was an overwraught, skinny, brittle person trying to keep it all together and get on with my life.
It wasn't working.
Jan - my acupuncturist/hero - told me in no uncertain terms that she felt that my anxiety was essentially crippling my body. I saw the anxiety and the miscarriages as two separate problems and after a few months of weekly treatments - the toll the anxiety had been having on me physically finally became obvious to me.
I achieved a kind of calm and comfort in my skin that I hadn't felt for a long long time. I realised that I had been internalising virtually all of my negative emotions and fear for quite a while and forcing myself to 'toughen up' whenever these feeling arose. So they just built up and festered away inside.
For me, acupuncture has been literally life-changing and I plan to have regular treatments forever! It might not be for everyone, but it works for me.
And no, the needles don't hurt!

Anyhow, my anxiety even through IVF and pregnancy was at best - almost non-existent and at worst - easy for me to manage, and since J was born I have been virtually anxiety-free.
Great story isn't it?
Except that the anxiety is back. With a vengence.

Last night I had nightmares, couldn't sleep, woke up about 100 times, diagnosed myself with 3 ( yes 3!) different types of cancer, and this morning I am walking around with horrible feelings of dread and fear. I just went for a walk and that has helped a bit and I decided that it's probably best to write all this down and try to get it out of my system.

My anxiety is triggered by a fear of having some kind of serious illness that will impact on my family. I have been in the situation of being investigated for a serious illness in the past and after that situation was resolved - my anxiety began.
This time, I suspect it has been triggered by the article in last Sunday's paper about multi-vitamins impacting on breast cancer. But really, anything in that vein can do it.
Then it slowly grows till it comes on like a tidal wave.Or a tsunami.

That's the most annoying thing about it, you can understand it, recognise the triggers, acknowledge the irrationality of your thoughts, but still the anxiety is relentless.

I have an acupuncture appointment on Tuesday morning, so I guess I will just hang in there and try my best to be positive and calm till then.
Hopefully, that appointment will help me to stop climbing the walls!

Thanks for listening.

Have a lovely weekend!


Friday, April 16, 2010

Starry starry night.

I am currently reporting to you live! from a serviced apartment in Canberra.
That may not sound as exciting as I would like it to but I am actually quite thrilled to be here because it means I can write two whole posts in one day! ONE DAY!
I am in Canberra because Sd has been here for work for the last two days and J and I tagged along in order to make our (my) life a bit more exciting. This afternoon we went to the French Masters exhibition at the National Gallery. It was absolutely fantastic. It was fabulous to see those paintings 'in the flesh' - so to speak. There was a crowd around all the Van Gogh paintings and a quietness in the room where they were hanging.
Except for the wailing coming from our pram.
Lovely J did not care about any bloody French Masters!!
Our visit to see this exhibition was a bit pear shaped actually but I hope we get some points for trying. I breastfed amongst the tapestries of the Ancient Middle East, I tried (and failed) to effortlessly move my pram out of the way of the record crowds who had come to see the Masters, I got my pass out and went outside to sit on a step and breast feed AGAIN because J just wasn't satisified with the one earlier. Yep. It was NOT a bundle of laughs I can assure you. It was exhausting. But well worth it.
'The Starry Night over the Rhone' was my favourite.
It was magical.

We then went out for dinner. I was really reluctant to go because I thought J was on a bit of a roll with the crying and screaming in public places. I was loving the idea of takeaway and Friday night TV in a serviced apartment. I think that gives you an indication of how traumatised I was at this point - that I actually wanted to do that rather than go out for dinner!
We went - to a great Chinese restaurant called 'The Chairman and Yip' which I loved and I am proud and relieved to say that my son slept through the entire event and as I type,continues to do so.
What a fantastic child!

So that's what I'm up to. I'm drinking a glass of red wine and typing this. Bliss!

We are off home tomorrow morning and I'm going to the movies with my friend tomorrow afternoon. How exciting! On Sunday we are catching up with some friends and their kids for lunch. Should be fun!

What are you up to this weekend? Whatever it is - Enjoy!


Something lovely.

One day a few weeks ago, I was walking down King St with J. And I saw something lovely.

An older lady who I'm guessing who was in her seventies (and she was definitely a Lady) was walking along the street alone. She was impeccably dressed. She was wearing a powder blue skirt ( falling politely under the knee), a matching powder blue long-sleeved jacket, a white blouse with a Peter Pan collar, stockings, white mary-janes with a low heel, a white hand bag and not a hair out of place. She looked like she had arrived straight from a church service circa 1971.

I noticed her because she stood out quite alot on King St. You do see all kinds of interesting people and outfits here - but you don't see this kind of lady and outfit very often. I also noticed her because she was wearing white gloves. You know, like the Queen. It reminded me of when I was at high-school and we had to wear gloves outside school grounds in winter. We were told it showed our good grooming! I hated it.
Anyhow, I noticed her gloves and also noted the 30 degree temperature - and my fascination with her grew.

She also looked very uncomfortable and a little bit afraid - not because of her attire on a 30 degree day - but because the usual crazy contingent on King St was hovering and the traffic was very loud and I'm guessing she wasn't a Newtown regular. All that stuff.

As I walked past her, another woman in her thirties approached her , touched her gently on the arm and said 'Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful. You don't really see people dressed as immpecably as you are anymore and I just wanted to tell you that. You really look wonderful.'

Well, my lovely old lady's face just lit up. She was touched , proud , flattered, reassured and comforted all at the same time. She thanked her admirer and then continued on up the street with a large smile on her face.

Such a lovely moment.

It made my day.

Happy Friday everyone!!


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter !


Obviously my routine for J is still a work in progress, so there has been no advancement in the time I can spend posting here. But I will keep trying.

This time last year, Sd and I were spending a beautiful long weekend in Orange. We went to lots of seriously gorgeous restaurants, stayed in a fantastic B&B with no TV, internet access or mobile reception. It did ,however, have a spa in our room and a big balcony overlooking miles and miles of bushland. Not bad huh?
Sd played golf, I read and then in the evenings we ate and ate and ate. And drank. Did I mention Orange is quite the destination for wine-tasting?
We returned from that trip away more relaxed than we had been in a long time. It is amazing how having no technology in your life can lead to a whole new kind of relaxed. A better kind if you asked me!
That Easter weekend I started to take the meds for our first round of IVF. The first step is easy - you take the contraceptive pill to basically get your hormone levels to a balanced low level - from which to begin the injections. I spent quite alot of time alone that weekend ( due to Sd's golf) which I needed - to get my head and heart into the right place to start the treatment.
I went into IVF with zero expectations. I was hopeful (otherwise I wouldn't have done it I guess) and I was afraid. I tried to put all those things aside and just do what was required of me each day in the IVF process and keeping thinking about it to a minimum.

As you all know, that cycle was a success and now we have beautiful baby J.
So, this long weekend, if you are dealing with things in your life that are difficult and scary and even beyond your control - look at my little Easter bunny and know that sometimes, even though may logic tell you otherwise, great and amazing things will come to you.

Happy Easter lovelies!